When choosing a family dog is important to think about age, size, temperament and energy level. All of which should suit your family’s lifestyle.

Next, the top 10 dogs that are specially suitable for kids.

Please notice, that despite numbered there is no particular order to the list provided.

1. Newfoundland

Nicknamed “Nature’s Babysitter,” the Newfoundland dog loves children and is very protective of them. Gentle, kind, and patient, this breed is almost like the Mother Teresa of dogs.

The Newfoundland best suits a family with large open spaces. And although it is known to drool and shed a lot, it is not considered a proper dog for the yard. This breed wants to be inside with its family. The Newfoundland is also a great swimmer and has been known to save lives in emergency situations.

2. Golden Retriever

Golden Retriever is a kind, smart, confident, and loyal dog. Neither aggressive nor timid, the Golden Retriever is extremely patient, which is perfect for kids. While it does need a lot of exercise, its love of play makes this an easy thing to achieve.

3. Labrador Retriever

This is one of the most popular dog breeds, and for good reason– it is protective, playful, loving, patient, and reliable. The Lab’s beauty is only matched by its sweet personality and intelligence. What does this mean for you? It’s your perfect family pet.

4. Collie

This is the dog Lassie made famous. Collies are a very gentle and predictable breed, rarely biting its human family and easily trainable, perfect for families that are unfamiliar with dogs. Collie was originally bred as a herding dog, so it may try and herd your children. This might be amusing at first, but it’s probably best to discourage the child-herding (no matter how handy you may think it could be). The Collie’s long hair means it requires regular grooming to keep its coat in tip-top shape. Collies get along great with children and love to please their owners and protect their family.

5. Bulldog

The great advantage of bulldogs? They’re sturdy, so they can take anything that rambunctious kids throw at them. And they won’t win any awards for “most energetic dog”. The Bull Dog is comfortable living in large houses, as well as apartments. A docile, friendly, and loyal dog, it gets along well with other pets and dogs, too.

6. Beagle

Originally kept as hunting dogs, Beagles fit well in homes with active kids, as they are sturdily built and never too tired to play a game. Energetic and friendly, beagles are also sturdy and mostly child-proof, and your kids will wear out before they do. They also make good nannies that can help you herd the young ones at bed time, and have endearingly humorous habits, like howling, which can be very amusing in small doses. They do shed, and require frequent brushing and bathing, however.

7. Bull Terrier

Bull terriers are intelligent, energetic and friendly dogs that can take a lot of roughhousing while remaining calm. Particularly suited to large families, they don’t complain too much when manhandled by children, and can actually help teach kids how to properly relate to dogs. Plus they’re just very cute and adorable. While they are energetic and require lots of play time, they will also help wear your kids out — the more the merrier — and will return the favor by being very protective of them. Often mistaken for the larger Pitt Bull, the Bull Terrier was bred to be a companion dog-friendly and loving towards grown-ups and kids alike.

8. Vizsla

This may be a breed you haven’t heard of before, but it’s actually one of the best dog breeds for kids. The Vizsla has a gentle disposition and manner, and is loyal, affectionate, and quiet, perfect for your little ones to play with. Additionally, it is obedient, confident and smart, forming close bonds with its family and able to learn new tricks quickly. Best of all, the Vizsla has very little “doggy” smell about it.

9. Irish Setter

The Irish Setter is playful, energetic, loves being around people, and plays well with children. This doggy needs lots of exercise, and is a good match for energetic kids. A smart and trainable companion, the Irish setter is perfect for people with lots of space. One word of warning, though — their life spans are among the shorter ones for larger breeds, so you should only choose an Irish Setter if you want to teach those inevitable life lessons while your children are in middle school.

10. Poodle

The poodle is a very smart and gentle dog. It’s also great for kids with allergies, as it sheds very little; it does, however, require scheduled grooming. This is a proud and elegant dog that is both caring and loyal. Otherwise, they are good-natured, and make excellent playmates for children.

 11. Extra: Mutts (Mixed-Breed)

Go to your local shelter, and consider rescuing a mixed breed dog. Look for a dog that matches the energy level of your family, keeping one thing in mind — mid size and larger dogs are great for families, while small breeds are not. If you have children, avoid Chihuahuas or Yorkies or anything you could pick up with one hand; look at terriers, retrievers, or other bigger dogs.
Good luck finding the best dog for your family!

Sometimes saying only “I love you” just doesn’t quite do the trick. Then again, can words ever truly express how much you love someone?
Well, maybe. We’ll let you decide.

We’re simply here to provide the best candidates for those sweet, cute, romantic sayings and poems that might eventually find themselves in your love letter, Valentine’s Day card, or marriage proposal. Without further ado, the top 15 “I love you” quotes.

15. “I love you more than there are stars in the sky and fish in the sea.”

Nicholas Sparks

14. “I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all you are yet to be.”

Anonymous

13. “I can’t swear I’ll be here for the rest of your life, but I swear I’ll love you for the rest of mine.”

Trace Adkins

12. “I love you more than words can define, feelings can express and thoughts can imagine.”

Anonymous

11. “Sometimes there is only one thing left to say, ‘P. S. I Love You'”

Cecelia Ahern

10. “I love you like crazy, baby. ‘Cuz I’d go crazy without you.”

Pixie Foudre

9. “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.”

Pablo Neruda

8. “There are many ways to say I love you but not enough words to say how much.”

Anonymous

7. “A good speech has a beginning, a middle and an end, the best example being, ‘I love you.'”

Robert Brault

6. “When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I’m afraid to lose you.”

Rene Yasenek

5. “I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.”

Roy Croft

4. “If I could choose between loving you and breathing I would use my last breathe to say I love you.”

Anonymous

3. “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”

Paulo Coelho

2. “For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.”

Rosemonde Gerard

1. “Immature love says ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.'”

Erich Fromm

There you have it little lovebirds. If you can’t tell someone how much you love them with these “I love you” quotes, then you’re hopeless . . . hopelessly in love, that is.

The world has been shaped physically, through movements of the planet, but also intellectually and artistically. The world has come a long way over the past few centuries, and humans are responsible for shaping the way it is today.

A few stand out amongst the rest, and those are known as some of the greatest minds in history.
Order: by birth date

1. Archimedes of Syracuse (287 BC – 212 BC)

Archimedes

Archimedes of Syracuse was an ancient Greek philosopher, mathematician, astronomer, physicist, engineer, and writer. He made great discoveries in the field of physics, and evidence shows that some of his blueprints for inventions could’ve actually worked.

Some of his designs included machines that could lift ships from the water and how to set a ship on fire using only a set of strategically-placed mirrors. Archimedes also designed siege engines and screw pumps. He was regarded as one of the most influential minds of his time and ours.

2. Plato (428/427 or 424/423 BC – 348/347 BC)

Plato

Greek philosopher Plato is known around the world for his teachings in literature, philosophy, and mathematics. Plato (428/427 or 424/423 BC – 348/347 BC) was the student of Socrates, another great and influential Greek philosopher, and he founded the Academy in Athens, the first institution of higher learning in the Western world.

Through his teachings, Plato hoped to lay down the foundations for Western philosophy and science. One of Plato’s most famous works, Theory of Forms, began a unique perspective on abstract objects and led to a school of thought called Platonism. Several of his works have been published and used to teach a variety of subjects, including philosophy, logic, rhetoric, mathematics, religion, and ethics, and they have all been published in several different fashions.

3. Homer

Homer

Greek poet Homer is known as one of the most intelligent and greatest poets of his time and in history. Historians aren’t completely sure of when Homer was born and died, but evidence shows that he lived around the seventh and eighth centuries B.C.

Homer authored the famous Iliad and The Odyssey, which are still read and studied in today’s modern times. Homer’s works provided models in persuasive speaking and writing, and these had a great influence on Greek society.

Homer’s influential writings heavily influenced the Greek world, as well as the rest of the world.

4. Nicolaus Copernicus (1473 – 1543)

Nicolaus Copernicus

In the thirteenth century, the early stages of the earth and of human life, not much was known about the world. At the time, people had basic knowledge of what the world was like. For example, Christopher Columbus proved that the planet was round, not flat. Scientists and astronomers knew that much, and a little more.

People at the time were convinced that the Earth was the center of the universe, since it seemed that sun revolved around it. But Nicolaus Copernicus proved them wrong. Copernicus come up with the heliocentric model of the universe, which placed the sun as the center of the universe, not the Earth.

His book, On the Revolutions of the Celestial Spheres, discussed at length the structure of the universe in his mind. It was a landmark in the history of science and began the Copernican Revolution. Aside from excelling in the field of astronomy and mathematics, Copernicus was a translator, governor, diplomat, and polyglot, as well as economist. Copernicus developed a basis in economics, formulating a quantity theory of money, which is still present in economics today.

5. Michelangelo (1475 – 1564)

In the Renaissance era, Italian sculptor Michelangelo was famous. Michelangelo was a painter, architect, engineer, and poet who exerted an unparalleled influence on the development of the Western art. His intense knowledge led him to be a contender for the title of Renaissance Man, along with his fellow Italian, Leonardo da Vinci.

Historians and art critics alike consider Michelangelo one of the greatest artists of all time, coming up with works like David and Pieta, which were sculptures created before he turned thirty years old. Aside from sculptures, he also created two of the most famous works in fresco: the scenes from Genesis on the ceiling and The Last Judgement on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel. He pioneered the Mannerist style as a skilled architect. During his lifetime, he was often called Il Divino, meaning “the divine one”.

6. Galileo Galilei (1564 – 1642)

Galileo Galilei Portrait

Another astronomer, Galileo Galilei, also made incredible leaps in the Scientific Revolution. Galileo was known for his improvements to the telescope and his support for Copernicus and the heliocentric theory. As a physicist, engineer, astronomer, mathematician, and philosopher, Galileo made history with his discoveries.

His most important discoveries were telescopic confirmations of the phases of Venus, the four largest moons that orbited Jupiter, and the observation and analysis of sunspots. Galileo also worked in technology, using his skills and knowledge to improve devices like the military compass.

7. William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616)

William Shakespeare

In the field of literature, William Shakespeare was one of the most famous figures. Shakespeare crafted plays, sonnets, and poems that were highly regarded by others, including royalty. He served as an actor, playwright, and poet throughout his life. Some of his most famous works include Hamlet, Macbeth, and Romeo and Juliet.

His plays have been translated into every major language possible and are performed more often than those of any other playwright. Most his plays were tragedies and comedies, and were performed at the Globe Theater. Shakespeare’s standard form of poem was blank verse, composed in iambic pentameter. Even today, Shakespeare’s sonnets and plays are revered and well-known around the world.

8. Isaac Newton (1642 – 1727)

Isaac Newton

After an apple dropped out of a tree and onto his head, Isaac Newton discovered the formula for gravity. Newton, an English physicist and mathematician, saw how the apple fell and created a theory that would later be known as the Universal Law of Gravitation.

This stated that any two bodies attract each other with a force that is proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. Newton also came up with three laws of motion, which changed our understanding of the universe and helped other scientists learn more about the planet. Newton was seen as a key figure in the scientific revolution for his discoveries.

9. Voltaire (1694 – 1778)

Famous for his wit, French philosopher Voltaire was a very versatile writer. In his writings, he attacked the beliefs of the Catholic Church and expressed his advocacy on the freedom of religion and the separation between church and state. Over the course of his life, he wrote hundreds of plays and poems, all expressing his criticisms for the French institutions of his day. Aside from plays and poems, he also wrote scientific journals, novels, and essays about his beliefs. Despite the risks he faced, he was a very outspoken advocate.

10. Wolfgang Mozart (1756 – 1791)

In musical studies, Wolfgang Mozart was one of the most renowned pianists in Europe, basically defining the Classical Era with his work. Mozart showed prodigious ability from the earliest parts of childhood and became fluent on the piano and the violin. At five years old, he performed before European royalty and he became a court musician.

Throughout the rest of his life, he composed hundreds of pieces of music, mostly for keyboard. He also took to composing pieces for other musicians; he wrote Clarinet Concerto in A Major, K. 622 for clarinetist Anton Stadler in 1791. Mozart’s work also inspired others to compose and play music; notable musicians such as Ludwig van Beethoven and Joseph Haydn shadowed him. When Mozart passed, he left quite a few pieces unfinished, but the pieces that were finished are still performed today. His music heavily influenced Western art music and he is easily one of the most popular of classical composers.

11. Charles Darwin (1809 – 1882)

Charles Darwin

If you’ve ever spoken or heard the phrase “survival of the fittest”, you’re talking about Charles Darwin’s line of work. In the seventeenth century, Darwin was an English naturalist and geologist who contributed greatly to the evolutionary theory, the theory that describes how animals, plants, and humans alike have changed over the centuries. He came up with the idea of natural selection, which stated that evolutionary change came through the production of variation in each generation and survival of different traits. This is known also as survival of the fittest.

Darwin also wrote a book, On The Origin of Species, based on his trip to the Galapagos islands, where he studied the different species of birds and how the variations between them came about. Before his death, Darwin made many contributions to the field of geology and natural history, and he is still seen as a pioneer to evolutionary study.

12. Dmitri Mendeleev (1834- 1907)

Dmitri Mendeleev

If you look at a periodic table and think it’s all just a bunch of numbers and letters, I can assure you that that wasn’t the case for its creator. Russian chemist and inventor Dmitri Mendeleev formulated the periodic table of elements and created the Periodic Law, which he used to correct the properties of some already-discovered elements and predict the properties of elements yet to be discovered. To create the periodic table, he grouped elements by their properties, since atom structure was unknown during his time. Mendeleev grouped similar elements together in columns and expanded the table until all known elements were added. Since Mendeleev’s time, scientists have added quite a few more elements to the table, using Mendeleev’s table as a base.

13. Marie Curie (1867 – 1934)

Marie Curie

Men aren’t the only ones who shape history. Polish by birth and French by marriage, Marie Curie was a physicist and chemist who conducted research on radioactivity. Curie excelled in physics and chemistry and used her knowledge to make new discoveries in those two fields. She was the first to discover the radioactive elements of polonium and radium.

These two elements were discovered after working with her husband, also a chemist. For her work in both fields, Curie was awarded the Nobel Prize, and became the first woman to do so. She also was the only woman to win in two fields of study, and the only person to win in multiple sciences. Curie was also the first woman to become a professor at the University of Paris and is still regarded as a pioneer in chemistry and physics. As a woman who accomplished so many tasks and won so many awards, she has inspired thousands of women to engage in the study of science.

14. Stephen Hawking (1942 -)

Stephen Hawking

One of the greatest minds in history is still living today. Stephen Hawking is widely known for his wheelchair, his thick glasses, and his brain. Hawking is an English theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and author. He is also Director of Research at the Centre of Theoretical Cosmology within the University of Cambridge. Hawking rose to fame with a cosmology explained by a union of the general theory of relativity and quantum mechanics, and he also collaborated with Roger Penrose on gravitational singularity theorems in the framework of general relativity and the theoretical prediction that black holes emit radiation.

Over the past few decades, Hawking has received a variety of awards for his accomplishments and for his book, A Brief History of Time, which was published in 1998 and stayed on the British Sunday Times best-sellers list for 237 weeks straight. Hawking has a motor neuron disease related to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, which has progressed over the years. He is almost entirely paralyzed and is confined to a wheelchair. He can only communicate through a speech generating device, but his condition hasn’t stopped him from achieving greatness.

15. Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein German: [ˈalbɐrt ˈaɪnʃtaɪn] 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955) was a German-born theoretical physicist. He developed the general theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics (alongside quantum mechanics). Einstein's work is also known for its influence on the philosophy of science. Einstein is best known in popular culture for his mass–energy equivalence formula E = mc2 (which has been dubbed "the world's most famous equation").He received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics for his "services to theoretical physics", in particular his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect, a pivotal step in the evolution of quantum theory.

Near the beginning of his career, Einstein thought that Newtonian mechanics was no longer enough to reconcile the laws of classical mechanics with the laws of the electromagnetic field. This led to the development of his special theory of relativity. He realized, however, that the principle of relativity could also be extended to gravitational fields, and with his subsequent theory of gravitation in 1916, he published a paper on general relativity. He continued to deal with problems of statistical mechanics and quantum theory, which led to his explanations of particle theory and the motion of molecules. He also investigated the thermal properties of light which laid the foundation of the photon theory of light. In 1917, Einstein applied the general theory of relativity to model the large-scale structure of the universe.

You’ve heard of the Illuminati, but do you know who they are or what they do? Here are 15 facts about the Illuminati conspiracy to show you that this conspiracy theory is more fact than fiction.

1. Illuminati is a Latin word meaning “enlightened ones.”

The Illuminati is a group of individuals who believe that they are more enlightened than everybody else. When Adam Weishaupt organized the Bavarian Illuminati on May 1, 1776, he intended that members of his group would help him fight the supposed false teachings and religious ideas of the day. He opposed religion and instead favored scientific pursuits. The Illuminati of today likewise oppose mainstream organized religion and prefer their own sense of enlightenment.

2. The Illuminati is a secret society.

Duke Karl Theodor banned secret societies in the year 1785. In effect, the Illuminati had to become an even more secret organization that it already had been. Although many people have heard of the Illuminati, very few people understand what this society does. Members of the Illuminati are generally not publicly associated with the group, so this adds to the secretive nature of the Illuminati.

3. The Order of Illuminati sponsors the New World Order.

As a whole, the Illuminati is a major supporter of the New World Order, a platform advocating global government. Such a global government is planned to be far-reaching and dictatorial in nature, putting power over politics, religion, and economics in the hands of a select few.
 

4. Members of the Illuminati have already infiltrated every facet of society.

The Illuminati conspirators hold positions of prominence in both major political parties in the United States as well as foreign political parties. They lead religious groups and have corrupted the highest levels of Freemasonry. The Illuminati controls many aspects of popular entertainment, the news media, and the education system.

5. Knowledge of the conspiracy is rationed in order to keep the plan a secret.

Many critics of the Illuminati conspiracy theory say that there is no way that so many people could keep such a huge secret. Even if one person blew the whistle, the entire conspiracy would collapse. However, the leaders of the Illuminati are the only ones who know the full details of their plan. All the way down the hierarchy, individuals in the Illuminati are kept in the dark about the main concepts and are simply told enough information to complete their assignments.

6. The Illuminati conspiracy is financed through a banking conspiracy, which is only part of the greater plan.

Some of the most powerful people in the Illuminati belong to a select few dynasties. The Rothschilds have played a pivotal role in the banking conspiracy for hundreds of years. They financed the French Revolution as well as both sides of the American Civil War. The Chase, Morgan, Carnegie, Ford, and Rockefeller families are some of the other powerful families in charge of the financial aspects of the conspiracy. It is no coincidence that these families also operate huge “philanthropic” organizations that govern the lives of individuals under the guise of charity.

7. Regional governments come before global government.

The Illuminati’s top leaders are smart enough to realize that most people oppose global government. People like living in smaller countries that reflect the culture and values that they do. This is why regional governments are the norm today. It is easier to identify at a regional level because the countries within a specific region have a lot in common. Examples of regional governments are: the European Union, the African Union, the North American Free Trade Agreement, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, and the Union of South American Nations. Although some of these organizations never make the news, they hold considerable power in affecting national policies.

8. The conspirators manage the global economy through central banks.

Mayer Amschel Rothschild once said, “Give me control of a nation’s money and I care not who makes the laws.” Most Americans believe that the Federal Reserve Bank is a government-operated bank that meets the financial needs of the country, but this is one of the Illuminati’s greatest deceptions. Almost every country in the world has a national bank today. A country’s central bank has the power to print money and then loan it out to banks. The central bank can simply invent new money and then sell it to banks, who then sell the money to the public in the form of loans. Such money is made out of thin air and is not backed by a precious metal. Worst of all, these banks coordinate their activities through organizations such as the International Monetary Fund.

9. The Illuminati was responsible for 9/11.

As soon as the attacks were perpetrated on 9/11, people began to say that the facts didn’t add up and that the official story was untrue. While many people began arguing that President Bush had orchestrated the attacks, Bush was actually just a puppet in a greater conspiracy. Governments often attack their own people in order to serve the Illuminati. Conspiracy theorists refer to such occurrences as “false flag” events. The official stories are always false, and these events are planned for the purpose of initiating new laws that restrict the liberty of the citizenry. Mass shootings, “terrorist” attacks, and similar atrocities are often planned by the Illuminati. This is not to say that real terrorists or murderers do not participate, but such individuals are generally guided by the FBI, the CIA, or a foreign equivalent. Some people are simply used as scapegoats.

10. The Illuminati conspiracy is concealed using the concept of historical accidentalism.

This school of thought basically suggests that tragic events and poor governance are mere accidents. This is the prevailing philosophy in mainstream history. This is why most people are inclined to think that their government means well, even when corruption is exposed. Even though there is ample evidence that Pearl Harbor had been foreseen, most people are unwilling to abandon their accidentalist views. The same is true in the case of 9/11, the Sandy Hook shooting, and the Boston Marathon bombings. President Roosevelt, who led America at the time of Pearl Harbor, said, “In politics, nothing happens by accident. If something happens, you can bet it was planned that way.”

11. The Illuminati bred many of the world’s most evil people.

Karl Marx, the founder of communism as we know it, was a student of the Illuminati. Albert Pike, the founder of the Ku Klux Klan, was also a member of the secret society. Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Mussolini, and other dictators had connections to the Illuminati.

12. The all-seeing eye has been made a symbol of the Illuminati.

While the all-seeing eye is traditionally viewed as a symbol of God, it is used by the Illuminati to mark their presence. This is why it is found on American money, more correctly known as Federal Reserve notes. The all-seeing eye is also found in the media. The logos of CBS, AOL, Time Warner Cable, and several other large corporations indicate the Illuminati’s presence. In addition, the all-seeing eye is a common motif, often hidden from the conscious mind. Hip-hop, rap, pop, and heavy metal artists frequently use such symbolism in their music videos as well.

13. Government planes poison the atmosphere.

When normal planes fly, they leave what is called a condensation trail. These contrails dissipate within a few minutes. Ever since the 1990s, however, a different type of trail has been noticed coming from certain planes. These are known as chemical trails, or chemtrails. Unlike contrails, chemtrails take a long time to dissipate. They often expand into artificial clouds and stay in the sky for a large portion of the day. Chemtrails are associated with higher levels of aluminum and other heavy metals. Overexposure to heavy metals can cause metal toxicity, a problem characterized by a plethora of physical and mental conditions.

14. Psychoactive drugs are used to manipulate and to distort perception.

It is no coincidence that most alleged mass shooters are found under the influence of a psychoactive drug. Many people are deliberately drugged for the purpose of getting them to perform a task that they would not do if they were sober. Those under the influence of psychoactive drugs generally do not remember the details of being kidnapped, drugged, and commanded to kill. The alleged Aurora theater shooter, James Holmes, was calmly telling other prisoners details of the conspiracy against him. Shortly thereafter, he was given a higher dosage of drugs and began acting out of control again.

15. Most people do not believe in the Illuminati conspiracy when they are told about it.

This is true for several reasons. Not only is it difficult to understand how or why the conspirators do what they do, but some false conspiracy theories are also invented by the Illuminati in order to discredit true theories. While most people doubt that the Illuminati conspiracy is real, current events are beginning to show that the world is not as it seems. It is expected that more people will begin to believe aspects of the conspiracy theory as events continue to unfold.

Humor is really a good medium to remove boredom and to start a good conversation.
Indeed, I can safely argue that humor is the quickest way to break the ice – all of us have come across situations where silence is so uncomfortable that we wish to have something funny to say to be able to end it, don’t you agree?

However, is not easy to come up with funny jokes, stories, of the top of our head and unfortunately, no one laughs without any reason, so here, I will provide you with 50 ways to pass those unbearable moments with flying colors.

I hope you guys have as much fun reading this top, as I had writing it.
Laughing is really an amazing tonic for our current daily lives, which more and more are full of running around and unnecessary, unhealthy stressful moments.
So just sit down, and take a few moments to lighten your spirit.
1.
Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.

2.
DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel, I like you.

3.
I always wondered why The Muppets had such large protruding eyes.
I then realized that if I had a hand shoved up my ass my eyes would do the same.

4.
What’s the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

5.
I didn’t sleep very good last night.
So this morning I put Monster energy drinks in my coffee… I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car.

6.
Coach: Okay class, today we are going to play a game.
When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a color, you run to the left side of the court.
Got it?

Class: Got it.

Coach: Okay… Ready, set… ORANGE!

7.
How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air freshener.

8.
Boy: Hey Beautiful, Can I have your number?

Girl: No, I have a boyfriend.

Boy: But I’m gay, can I have the number now?

Girl: Oh, okay! Here’s the number.

Boy: Thanks, I’m not really gay. Ha!

Girl: That’s my boyfriends number.

9.
Playing I spy with my dad when I was younger:
Dad: I spy something gray.

Little sister: Your hair!

Dad: I spy something adopted!

10.
A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with a whale for a daughter:
The Directors of Spongebob were obviously high.

11.
Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.

12.
*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*

boy: “Mommy?”

mom: “What?”

boy: “Why is the girl dressed in white?”

mom: “Because this is the happiest day of her life.”

boy: “… so why is the boy dressed in black?”

13.
I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit.
A minute later, some guy did exactly the same thing. I said to him, “I just did that.” So, he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.

14.
Jack and Jill went up a hill,
So Jack could lick her candy,

Well Jack got a shock and mouthful of cock,

‘Cause Jill’s real name was randy.

15.
When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s cute.
I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date.

16.
The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient.
He’s shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head.
The doctor’s cries, “Oh my god, how did that happen?”

The frog answered “I don’t know; it began as a pimple on my butt.”

17.
I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.

He cried. Then he hugged my sister & me.

18.
I must have a great butt, because every time I finish talking to someone and start to walk away.
I hear them whisper ‘what an ass’.

19.
I asked my girlfriend what movie my dick reminded her of…

She replied, “Chicken Little”

20.
Boy: Marry me?
Girl: Do you have a house..?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you have a BMW car?

Boy: No.

Girl: How much is your salary?

Boy: No salary, but…

Girl: No but. You have nothing. How can I
marry you?? 
Leave please!

Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3
 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche…
Why I
 still need to buy BMW?! How can I get the
 salary when actually I am the BOSS

21.
Add a word to ruin a movie:

– Batman Begins College

– The Longest Yard Sale

– Charlottes Web Cam.

22.
How we wake up I’m the morning:
Brain: “Oh f*ck.”

Body: “Don’t get up.”

Dick: “THIS IS SPARTAA!!!”

23.
It’s funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about more clever shit you could have said

24.
What is the lightest thing in the world?

A penis… even a thought can raise it.

25.
I told my girlfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud.
Then I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded. They have no idea!

26.
Mom: “Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room?”
Me: “Shouldn’t you be in the Kitchen?”

I’ve never been hit so hard.

27.
Girl: What’s the price of this shirt?
Boy: 5 kisses.

Girl: What’s the price of that dress?

Boy: 10 kisses.

Girl: pack both of them dad will pay 

Boy : oh f*ck

28.
I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves

29.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

30.
My grandad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the Edinburgh zoo.

31.
CNN just said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who the f*ck does the world owe? Jupiter?

32.
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

33.
The closest that I’ve gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop…

34.
-Dude that party was wicked

-You were drunk outta your mind

-I was not drunk

-Dude you were cutting pine-apples yelling “SpongeBob I know you are in there”

35.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher!

36.
Husband: Honey, do you smell that?
Wife: No. 

Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.

37.
*Standing on a high balcony*

Normal person: What a breathtaking view!

Me: I could totaly snipe that guy from here.

38.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket.

Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.

39.
Teacher: stop interrupting while I am talking

Student: you stop talking while I am interrupting

40.
If a girl ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo.
Her woman instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.

41.
I tried to convince my little girl that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.
…
But she didn’t buy it. She’s still making fun of me.

42.
“A good friend bails you out of jail, a true friend is sitting next to you saying ‘we screwed up… LETS DO IT AGAIN!”

43.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Shelly.
Shelly was very girly and liked wearing pretty skirts. She wore skirts every day.

One day at school, a young boy named Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym. So Shelly did.

When Shelly got home, she told her mom about her day, and included the part about the jungle gym.

”Shelly, don’t do that. He might just be trying to look at your underwear.” said her mother.

What the big deal was, Shelly didn’t understand.

The next day Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym again. So she did.

Shelly again told her mother about her day, including the jungle gym moment.

“Didn’t I tell you, young lady?” fumed her mother. “He just wants to see your underwear!”

“But Mommy, I tricked him,” said Shelly. “Today I didn’t wear any underwear!”

44.
What does women’s underwear and nail polish have in common?
They both come off with alcohol.

45.
The school called me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies”.
“Well tell him he’s f*cking good” I replied, “I ain’t got any kids!”

46.
I just saw two elementary school kids having a fist fight.
So as an adult I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance.

47.
Life without women would be a pain in the ass.

48.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale

49.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

50.
A man with two left feet buys a pair of flip flips.

We all know that hundreds of millions of girls and boys worldwide are involved in work that deprives them of adequate education, health, leisure and basic freedoms, abusing their rights.

In real life, more than half of these children are exposed to the worst forms of child labour like slavery, work in hazardous environments, or other forms of forced labour, illicit activities such as drug trafficking and prostitution, and even involvement in armed conflict.

The World Day Against Child Labour was launched by the International Labour Organization (ILO) in 2002 as a way to highlight the plight of these children. It is celebrated on June 12th every year since then, and is intended to serve as a catalyst for the growing worldwide movement against child labour. This year, World Day Against Child Labour draws attention to the role of social protection in keeping children out of child labour and removing them from it.
According to the ILO, the term “child labour” is defined as

“work that deprives children of their childhood, their potential and their dignity, and that is harmful to physical and mental development. It refers to work that is mentally, physically, socially or morally dangerous and harmful to children, or work whose schedule interferes with their ability to attend regular school, or work that affects in any manner their ability to focus during school or experience a healthy childhood”.

Every child has the right to be loved, protected, educated, safe, heard … in a few words, be just a child! And the only thing that all children want is to be happy!
Here are some facts about child labour:

1.
According to the ILO, about 215 million children aged 5-17 years worldwide are engaged in child labour.
2.
Of these 215 million children, 115 million are engaged in hazardous work.
3.
About 1 in every 6 children, is supposed to be a child labour.
4.
Child labourers are more vulnerable to abuse of their labour rights. They lack overtime pay, health insurance, are paid lower wages, and often do not know their human rights.
5.
Millions of children are engaged in various types of work that are simply unacceptable, as they are really dangerous, hazardous and catastrophic. These types of work include working in mines, working with pesticides and chemicals in agricultural sector, working with really dangerous mancbineries and being exploited as domestic servants.

6.
22 million children die annually due to the hazardous conditions in the sweatshops.
7.
Millions of girls have been the victim of child labor in the form of domestic servants, and are more likely to be exposed to exploitations and abuse, including sexual harassment. Girls from rural Nepal are recruited to work in carpet factories, but are then trafficked into the sex industry over the border in India.
8.
Children involved in tobacco cultivation are subjected to serious health risks, such as nicotine poisoning.
9.
An estimated 12 percent of children in India ages 5-14 are engaged in child labor activities, including carpet production.
10.
According to the ILO, it would cost $760 billion over a 20-year period to end child labor. The estimated benefit in terms of better education and health is about six times that – over $4 trillion in economies where child laborers are found.
11.
Some children are forced to weave up to 18 hours a day, often never leaving the confines of the factory or loom shed.
12.
Africa has the world’s highest incidence rates of child labour. In Sub-Saharan Africa more than 40% of all children aged 5-14 labour for survival.
13.
Agriculture accounts for 60 percent of child labor. The ILO estimates that agriculture is the largest employer of child labor in Africa.
14.
Only 1 out of 5 children involved in child labor is paid for his or her work.
15.
The majority of children in child labor perform unpaid family work.
16.
Six out of the ten countries listed as the worst countries for child labor are in Africa: Sudan, DR Congo, Somalia, Ethiopia, Burundi, and Zimbabwe.
17.


60 percent of children in Ethiopia are engaged in child labor. Many of them work in the mining industry, which poses some of the biggest dangers of child labor.
Many parents from poor countries see themselves obligated to push their children to work out of necessity, because they can’t support their families on their own income. One of the best ways to fight child labor is to provide fair salaries and safe working conditions for parents, thus they can sustain their families without being forced to depend on their children. Fighting against child labor is to fighting global poverty.